Matrix of Disappointments…My Best Teacher

Nothing inspires human heart as much as the Truth. I have tried in my best reckoning to put together some truth and ask you to read this passage with the lenses of you Heart. Truth of this life of fleeting attachments, deceptive temptations and foul love...is...that it is a Matrix of Disappointments. Unless you realize... that.... All attachments are fleeting away may it be the love of your life, closest relations, friends, pets n so on...either you will leave them one day or they will be taken out of your life leaving you with hurt and emotional pain. Try and understand that an attachment in love with a person or thing which has to perish and leave you with pain is basically an illusion. Love must not leave you in Pain. How can true love walk out on you ever?

Temptations are ever so deceptive...our passion for sins...may it be sin of curiosity, original sin or not so original sins...it is an unending, un-satiating pursuit of a Mirage but we never seem to get enough of it. Every temptation leads to a sin and every sin adds to the skyscraper of Regret and Remorse.

Finally, the misunderstood concept of Love which rots like a hidden dead rat and we never really find out what is wrong there. Understand that human heart is as vast as an ocean. Default mechanism of human heart is not designed to accommodate love of anything of this world. Filling your heart with love of Dunya is like filling the space of an ocean with a drop of water. And then we complain of emptiness and sadness. We have tried to invent ways to remedy this by playing video games, eating outs, smoking weed, taking hallucinogens, drinking, clubbing, listening to mind numbing music and throwing up all day next day …but… the moment our minds regain full consciousness…that sadness intensifies and that emptiness deepens. Instead of relief, our remedy back fires and continues to eat up on us. It is like taking cancer inducing drug for migraine. How absurd? Car makers issue manual which we look up for troubleshooting. Likewise, our Creator has issued a Manual to treat all our spiritual, moral, social and physical imperfections. And who knows the creation better than the Creator? Back to human heart, this pumping device is the only divine piece of equipment in human make up. It only is designed for love of Allah. Once this ocean is filled with its true waters, the droplet of Dunya's love will find its place there somewhere.

We continue to fail to understand the real face of these attachments, temptations and love of Dunya and remain sucked up in Matrix of Disappointments. Our only logical attachment is with Allah who created our souls on one day. We never really bother to look back in time that we had an oath of allegiance with Allah before coming to this world who puffed His soul in a clot of blood in a womb. He thus became our only relation before coming to this world. Protected, guided and made real nice arrangements for us as we arrived helpless in this world. Couple parents, nice shelter, siblings, appointed guardian angels on us, provided us with food all these years, carried us through times when we thought that even our shadows left us. He has already arranged food and shelter till our last day on earth. Can you find such unconditional love in this world in any relation or thing to which you feel attached to? Could there be any better attachment than the attachment with Allah? A premanent attachment without any fear of detachment ever. He is The Greatest, He is the most Merciful. Among these countless blessings He gave us Freewill. Our own wish and will to go about life. Remember, Devil incites your temptation, but it is you who decides to tread the sinful path. Life is just a little test to resist our temptations for a very short time and reward is promised in eternal peace and Jannah. But we thought this world is Jannah. All the pleasure, all the joy must come our way fast and now. And we cross the line. Commit sins. We fall prey to the trap. Just like a fly which ends up in a cobweb for her love of untamed curiosity. If this Dunya was to become Jannah then the whole issue of creation becomes pointless. In which case what would be the point of holding Jannah in store for us? We stuff our heart with love of Dunya and sink deeper in to the quagmire of sins. Not paying heed to repeated reminders in Quran about the worthlessness of love of this Dunya. Just like our loving mothers who repeatedly tells us to wear warm clothing so that we do not catch cold, He keeps warning us in Quran one and the same thing again and again. Is there a better example of love in this world than that of a mother. Well ! put together love of seventy mothers and counting...He still loves you more.

 

Do you still want to fill your heart with love of Dunya? Will you continue the futile toil of filling an ocean with a drop? Are you still willing to trade an ocean of love with a worthless droplet? If so, then you would not escape that haunting emptiness of your heart.

Today all the jigsaw pieces of my journey have been put together in front of you in the shape of whole truth. I am sure even if we persist to maintain the apparent state of denial; our hearts are always attracted to truth. Today the speaker was my heart and the audience...your heart. My tumultuous journey of disappointments is aligning to a steady route and attaining a tranquil pace. The voids are filling up with Love. All my fears were derivatives of my desires. But now they float between hopes and fears. I feared that time was running out and always questioned, Have I Gained Enough? My fear remains the same i.e. the time is slipping through but the fear has taken a different face i.e. Have I Given Enough? Have I been able to payback? Have I contributed my bit to life. But these words give me hope that they will tingle your heart. They will leave a little mark. You will share these thoughts with someone else. Light of hope will kindle in few other hearts weary of emptiness. We all shall then continue our eternal journey to our eternal destination. To a place, where our Host will be Allah Himself. He will throw feasts to His Loved ones. He will even serve drinks to His Chosen ones. I may not be among those but from among the lowest of the crowd I may get His glimpse. A look of the One who created all the that we perceive as Beautiful. The One who taught our perceptions to perceive Beauty. Should I not trade all these fleeting attachments, those deceptive temptations and love of Dunya for that permanent attachment, absolute truth and real love?

Only Allah knows what is right.

Share your thoughts on my sketchy and obscure thoughts and stay blessed.