The Problem
In order to understand the problem, let's first understand Khali-ur-Rehman Qamar. If you know him well, you may know most of them because he represents mindset of majority men in our society. He is an 'ego driven reformist'. He has to put things right becasue he thinks he is right. So whatever stance he has taken on the issue is right because he said so. His opinion may be true but his ego gets importance over truth of the matter. Rather his ego is above everything. A small disagreement can turn into an ugly slugfest. Generally avoidable issues get downright personal and irritatingly time consuming. So what possibly could be the source of this uncontainable ego? It is success. Not all but majority get carried away by corresponding levels of success. The higher the level of material sucess, the greater the disease. By the way, every man is successful at different scales. One, success is being chosen to experience life on this earth and being the best of creation. But hang on, this is not by choice. So there is a bug right there. We will dig this bug out in part two. Two, success of a man being male i.e masculine which is not his doing either. Another ego boosting success is that he provides for a family but does he provide for the famly or is he just the means to providing? Again, there seems to be a bug right there. These are all success way points to destination. One is connected to another and its an illusive spiral. Enough said on ego and her subsidiaries. Now imagine the amount of unprecedented success this gifted drama writer enjoys and understand the quandary of his false ego.
Coming back to scene of disagreement when apparently a calm, quiet, well dressed, well slept, well fed, well mannered man is about to turn into an ego driven monster. How dare someone disagree and not budge to his opinion. Now stamping his authority and coming out on top becomes priority one. This is the moment when logic and rationality take a leave of absence. Alarms of dfferent levels of insecurities go off. Right in this moment, he believes his self assumed great 'image' is in danger. His survival instincts also begin to go on high alert. What are his options to take down his opponent? Changing facial expressions, appearing angry, raising voice, offending the other person with poignant remarks, unsettling comments: well be rest assured that he will throw everything at him including the kitchen sink. Last thing on the menu is manners and this dish will not be served to this situation. Hence, we often see frenzied arguments on petty things. The correctness of issue / argument gets muddled in hot exchange of words bordering insanity. The outcome is KRQ versus Marvi Sarmad situation. At the bottom of this problem is all deceiving ego. Problem of taking ego for self esteem. Problem of being better than right. Problem of being right than polite. So fallacious is the trap of ego that despite being principally correct, in hindsight, KRQ lost the battle when he lost his temper/manner. At the point when he had to be patient, he unleashed on a 'lowly woman'(in his view in that moment) who dared to dare as big a person (in his view in that moment) as KRQ. All his intelligence, all his persona and all his sophistication vanished in those four mad moments. A fall from grace. Despite being right, he appeared ill tempered, foul mouth and haughty because the way he wanted to settle the issie was self serving and is about satisfying his own false ego.
Now that we've identified possible problem, we shall be able to suggest a solution to the problem in Part 2.
Only Allah knows the whole Truth.
Only Allah knows all
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